stupid things that foreigners do in taiwan!

when milk machine got home from her new job on friday she told me this story - even i know this is stupid and i am only one year old!

i have taken a new job at the navy base here in kaohsiung, this is a top security, armed and always on orange alert naval base. to get in (at the side gate) i must present photographic id, sign in and be accompanied to my classroom by a duty officer. as you would expect one has to dress appropriately, well the last teacher was turning up dressed in shorts, flip flops, unshaven and occasionally wearing a combat jacket, so they were talking about letting him go at the end of this month, he hastened his departure by doing the following:

turned up late for class, so late in fact that the duty officer that should have been there to escort him to class had gone, so there was no one to let him into the base. which leaves him several options

option 1: call his boss that is in the base and tell him he is waiting outside
option 2: go to the main gate and explain who he is, and get escorted to the classroom
option 3: (i still cant believe this) climb over the 3 metre high gate with razor wire on the top whilst carrying half a bottle of red wine

yes you guessed it he took option 3

upon entering the camp illegally he had yet more options, dressed in shorts, flip flops, wearing a combat jacket and carrying a bottle of wine (nearly finished by now!)

option 1: present himself to the first officer he saw and explain
option 2: stick to the roads and head to the classroom
option 3: take off cross country over shooting ranges(luckily unused at the time) refuse to stop when challenged by the armed military police, be wrestled to the ground and thrown in the brig!

again this smart fellow took option 3

he was handed over to the local police because the military police were not quite sure what to do with him, and now he is residing in the county jail (not a nice place) until the canadian authorities can come and chuck him out of the country!

good riddance!

look i have a little princess chair, a princess dress and even a bunny rabbit..........who do you think i am? bloody snow white thats who. anyone got any crunchy insects?? 

thats me, oh thats me too, ohhhh thats me, ohh thats me woohooo 

i love feeding myself but i dont think liams mummy liked me feeding him, she kept wiping him up, but my mummy is more fun, she waits til i am all finished 

my birthbay lasted a week!!

one week ago grannie came to visit and cos she couldnt stay till the day of my birthbay, she brought a present for each day that she was here! woohoo present central!

we did lots of hanging out in gardens centres with grannie, which is lots of fun as there is always mud, plants and insects to eat. we went to this under water fishy thingy with sharks and everything. i liked the sea grass best (which is a fish but sticks up out of the sand like grass, weird) cos i think some of the bigger fishies and sharks thought i looked yummy

on my birthbay, lots of mummy's friends came over with toys for me and aunt sally brought cake, i played on the climbing frame and wanted to go into the paddling pool but mummy said it was too cold! i started off wearing a really pretty white dress with little daisies on it but i couldnt crawl in it and it was driving me maaaaaaad, so mummy gave in and let me play in just my t shirt

thank you granny for coming all the way from scotland, i will be there soon to make you all messy again, save me some insects and dont forget my mud

fairs fair, share and share

well tiana is well, full of beans, sweet potato, bread, potato and anything else she can get her grubby little paws on

gak, gus, james and me however have been as sick as dogs, really james and i were sick as dogs but gak was sicker than any dog i have ever seen, most dogs when that sick would have the sense to lie down and die! but we are all much better today in fact i think i could fly i feel so good

the sun is shining, the sky is blue, it is windy and fresh outside but bloody freezing in kate and steves house (nothing new there) no chance of any heating there or even a rug for the ice cube floor (put some more clothes on lass!)

still poorly

poor little thing is still not very well, she is subdued but has a few happy moments, but i think her tummy is still sore and she still has a runny bum.

for the first time in her little life she is wearing disposables as i havent been able to keep up with the washing and drying of the cloth ones. she has a bit of a nappy rash cos of those horrid disposables, i am so glad that is it just once in a blue moon she has to wear them

we have no idea what caused it, but my tummy is still upset too, it may be a stomach flu rather than something we ate, as i think we would be ok by now if it was something we ate but who knows

all for now as i am k-nackered(to use your term mum) running around trying to get her better, dealing with the poo, not sleeping great and worrying. takes it out of you

fever and sickness

my poor wee darling!

went to work on thursday night and within an hour had a call to come home, little princess was throwing up all over Gak, and was very poorly

rushed home and found Gak covered in mmm not very nice stuff and little tiana just hanging on, sweating and looking so pale. got tia changed and off to the hospital, was seen within minutes, the doctor taking a real good look at her - he even did a tummy scan - and we were sent home(thankfully) with rehydration fluids, a yummy medicine to reduce her fever, and a acidbaccilus(spelling?).

i spent the night awake and trying to keep her fever below 40, with damp towels, the fan on, and worried like i have never been in my life before. she was so helpless, listless and soooo quiet, which for a baby as noisy and active as tiana was the most worrying thing.

yesterday she slept on and off all day clinging to me, spitting out her yummy medicines and eating boobie like there was no tomorrow. it does amaze me that my body can respond to her need for boobie and keep making milk even though she doesnt drink that much normally

today she is a little subdued, but nearly back to her normal noisy self and it is so nice nice to hear her laugh and shout

in laws arrgghh

my MIL (mother in law) arrived today unannounced as always with great grandad, aunty and some other worthy from the village in tow, let themselves into the house(door wasnt actually locked but well) and then polished off about 2 and a half pounds of my chocolate!

not just any chocolate mind, the choccy that lawrence had brought back for me from the states, choccy that you can not buy in taiwan, choccy that does not have that added anti-melt shite in it, choccy that i was savoring, choccy that I really wanted to eat, not that i am bitter and twisted about it

phuckers!

GAK is back

after three long weeks, gak (great aunt kate) and gus (great uncle steve) have returned from their holiday! phew! maybe now i will be able to do dishes, cook food and even breathe sometimes while the baby is being entertained by them!

they only got back last night and already, james and i have eaten dinner by ourselves, i am normally on the tiana diet, were she eats all the good bits of my dinner therefore reducing my calorie intake significantly.

as we were finishing our dinner i said, "oh, sometimes it is nice to eat without tia." and james, bless him, said "i was just thinking i miss her being here, and was wondering if we should take a doggy bag for her" he is so in love with that little girl

tiana has learned to "drive" a remote control car, it is a little yellow vw beetle, and she happily makes it go back and forwards with the remote control, hours of endless fun